"Answering the door and talking to the cable guy with my 3 week old in my arms, with my boob STILL out. I couldn't look him in the eye the whole time he was installing. I was mortified."
"Coming down the stairs with my pumping bra and yoga pants on, and hubby is skyping with a friend. The computer is facing the stairs. Mortifying."
"Most mortifying? Farting in the doctors'/nurses' faces when in labor. It was so quiet in there and the fart was sooooo loud. Haha!"
"A couple months ago, I nursed my son, reattached my bra, and walked outside, forgetting to close up my shirt. There were construction workers out there and my neighbors too. To this day I have no idea if anyone noticed. I happened to also be wearing my nude bra with a bright red design on it."
"Hubs and I were at a fancy restaurant. Waiter told me I had some food on my arm. Nope, poop. And I said that rather loudly."
"Pumping at work, there's a noise at the window. I forgot to pull the blinds down and there's a guy out there washing the windows."
"I was pumping at work, I had the door locked and apparently someone didn't understand that meant don't come in. Thankfully it was a guy I went to school with who went and got the key and opened the door. All I could manage was to grab the flanges and squeak out, "Shut the door." Not quite sure how much he saw because I initially just had the bottles propped on my lap."
"My boss was super freaked out about my pumping. Totally supportive, but freaked. The first time I pumped after going back to work, I didn't have it together right and I squirted milk everywhere. Not a big deal except I was in his private office and had nothing to clean up with. All over his desk and computer papers. I used a nursing pad and threw it into the trash can next to his desk. A day later he brings the breast pad out and asks the office, 'What is this?' I was mortified."
"I hate that I pooped in labor. And even while I was pregnant I peed myself twice. I've woken up with poop all over my arm from my toddler. So much poop nowadays."
"We took my little one to dinner with us at Applebee's when she was a few weeks old and had only been there an hour when I went to the bathroom. When I washed my hands and looked in the mirror I realized I had leaked through my bra, tank top and shirt. Hubby had been sitting next to me because we were in the half circle corner booth with family so no one was across from me. Who knows how long I leaked before anyone told me! I had no jacket and no way of covering up other than my little one's baby blanket and we had to finish eating and pay still. I was so embarrassed."
"I had just had my son, and every time I had to go to the bathroom while still in the hospital, I had to hurry off the bed and to the toilet. I was still wearing those overly attractive mesh underwear and the pads, so leaking a bit didn't bother me TOO badly....until one day when my husband had gone home to shower, and I was holding our son. I realized I had to go, so I tried to carefully scoot to the edge of the bed and put our son in the wheeled crib. We were told that if we went anywhere we had to take him with us, that he couldn't be left alone, and I wasn't supposed to walk with him, so I tried desperately to take the wheel locks off to roll him with me. I could make it work, so I tried to call the nurse to come watch him so I could pee, but halfway to the bed....the waterfall fell. I peed ALL OVER the floor. I was horrified that such a thing had happened, so I was crying, my son was crying. I was so embarrassed. I hobbled through the pee puddle for the nurse button but in doing so, I accidentally yanked it out of the wall, which is apparently a big alarm at the hospital because 2 nurses came running to see what was wrong. There I stood, in a sea of blood-tinged pee, crying that I'd needed to pee and couldn't get there in time. The head nurse clarified that as long as I was still in my room, even in the bathroom, my son could have been left in his crib for a few minutes by himself. My pee was mopped up, I was given new mesh sexy panties and a pad, and a new gown. My husband came back to a very flustered wife and a hilarious tale."
It happens to us all, mamas. Laugh. Enjoy the giggles, because while they suck that day, or even sometimes for a week after that, they eventually become some of our favorite tales.
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