I've been married for about 5 and a half years, a little over, I guess, and in that time, Husband and I have been through quite a few experiences that most couples will hopefully NEVER have to deal with. When a couple goes through stress and problems, it can either serve to strengthen their connection, or sever it. We're fortunate to not be severed. We've been together long enough that we know several of each others "idiosyncrasies" and little preferences, such as the fact that Husband doesn't like ice in his fountain drinks, and how when I'm having a bad day, he can perk me up by grabbing me Reese's, Snyder's Honey Mustard pretzels and a Pepsi. You learn these things about each other, because when you spend so many hours and days and weeks and months and years with the person you dedicated your life and commitment to, you're supposed to learn these things.
I'm a firm believer in the idea that love is not always presented in some big effort designed to drop jaws and cue music...sometimes it's just the little things that let the other person know that you remember, you think of them, you listen, you care. Husband stopping on his way home from work or school to grab something for me if he knows I've had a hard day with the kids, me baking him something because I know how he loves dessert, getting his food and drinks just the way I know he likes them and feeling bad when they're not up to standard...these are a few things. What are some ways, little things, you can show that may not exert a huge ton of energy or effort, but clearly show your significant other that you love them, you're thinking of them, you appreciate them?
1) Send them little notes and texts.
Nothing gets me more smiley than to get a text from Husband while he's gone that isn't asking for something, or about something...he's just texting to tell me he loves me. Likewise, I like to let him know that he's important to me, that I enjoy spending time with him. Today on my way home from the doctor's, he passed by my parked van at a gas station, because I needed to use the restroom and get a drink. As he drove by he texted me, "I c u." To which I responded, "Creeper." These are the sorts of jokes that we heartily enjoy.
2) Small, cheap efforts can go a long way.
About 2 years ago, Husband was deployed to Africa to deal with the ebola scare in Monrovia, Liberia. So before that, we had a date. Our dear friends watched the kiddo and we took off on Husband's motorcycle to drive over the mountain, grab some food from the dollar menu at McDonald's, and then enjoy the sunset at the top of the mountain. To date, that's still our favorite date, and it cost less than $5.
3) You know his preferences; use them!
Husband doesn't like ice in his fountain drinks. He likes my chocolate chip cookies, and dessert in general, so I try to light a fire under my butt and provide that occasionally. He's fond of Mountain Dew, he doesn't like pretzels unless they're flavored. He likes mustard or sriracha on his dippy eggs. His favorite beer is Shiner Bock, but he will settle for Bud Light if he must. He branches outside the beer box often though. He loves to try new chips, and hates beans and peas because of their consistency. He likes longer ankle socks with jeans, but insists on anklet socks with shorts, and NEVER jorts. He's a fan of sneakers on both himself and me, but doesn't push the issue. He likes a high fade haircut and likes even more that I'm capable of giving him one, because it saves money. You know what my knowledge of these things means? I can make him happy almost all the time.
It's so easy to love someone, simply by paying attention.
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