Little Ways to Say 'I Love You'

I've been married for about 5 and a half years, a little over, I guess, and in that time, Husband and I have been through quite a few experiences that most couples will hopefully NEVER have to deal with. When a couple goes through stress and problems, it can either serve to strengthen their connection, or sever it. We're fortunate to not be severed. We've been together long enough that we know several of each others "idiosyncrasies" and little preferences, such as the fact that Husband doesn't like ice in his fountain drinks, and how when I'm having a bad day, he can perk me up by grabbing me Reese's, Snyder's Honey Mustard pretzels and a Pepsi. You learn these things about each other, because when you spend so many hours and days and weeks and months and years with the person you dedicated your life and commitment to, you're supposed to learn these things.

I'm a firm believer in the idea that love is not always presented in some big effort designed to drop jaws and cue music...sometimes it's just the little things that let the other person know that you remember, you think of them, you listen, you care. Husband stopping on his way home from work or school to grab something for me if he knows I've had a hard day with the kids, me baking him something because I know how he loves dessert, getting his food and drinks just the way I know he likes them and feeling bad when they're not up to standard...these are a few things. What are some ways, little things, you can show that may not exert a huge ton of energy or effort, but clearly show your significant other that you love them, you're thinking of them, you appreciate them?

1) Send them little notes and texts.

Nothing gets me more smiley than to get a text from Husband while he's gone that isn't asking for something, or about something...he's just texting to tell me he loves me. Likewise, I like to let him know that he's important to me, that I enjoy spending time with him. Today on my way home from the doctor's, he passed by my parked van at a gas station, because I needed to use the restroom and get a drink. As he drove by he texted me, "I c u." To which I responded, "Creeper." These are the sorts of jokes that we heartily enjoy.

2) Small, cheap efforts can go a long way.

About 2 years ago, Husband was deployed to Africa to deal with the ebola scare in Monrovia, Liberia. So before that, we had a date. Our dear friends watched the kiddo and we took off on Husband's motorcycle to drive over the mountain, grab some food from the dollar menu at McDonald's, and then enjoy the sunset at the top of the mountain. To date, that's still our favorite date, and it cost less than $5.

3) You know his preferences; use them!

Husband doesn't like ice in his fountain drinks. He likes my chocolate chip cookies, and dessert in general, so I try to light a fire under my butt and provide that occasionally. He's fond of Mountain Dew, he doesn't like pretzels unless they're flavored. He likes mustard or sriracha on his dippy eggs. His favorite beer is Shiner Bock, but he will settle for Bud Light if he must. He branches outside the beer box often though. He loves to try new chips, and hates beans and peas because of their consistency. He likes longer ankle socks with jeans, but insists on anklet socks with shorts, and NEVER jorts. He's a fan of sneakers on both himself and me, but doesn't push the issue. He likes a high fade haircut and likes even more that I'm capable of giving him one, because it saves money. You know what my knowledge of these things means? I can make him happy almost all the time.

It's so easy to love someone, simply by paying attention.

The Importance of Routine and Organization

As a SAHM of two young children, and when the 3rd, school-age child doesn't live with me, my days tend to be very fluid, and oftentimes boring. We stay home most of the time, not doing much of anything, and J ends up a bit on the troublesome side when he doesn't have a productive way to burn energy. I also find that when I am just waking up and winging it all day, every day...I lose track of things.

Husband is fond of a very popular blog called The Art of Manliness. It's an awesome site, honestly. It bugs me that there's no female version of it; Husband and I tried searching for one once and were led to a blog that described PERFECTLY why there isn't. If you're interested, you could read it here, I suppose. Incidentally, I ended up subscribing to that blog anyways; they've got some awesome stuff, including the list of books, and free reading journal that I've recently become fascinated with. ANYWAYS. On AoM, they list sites, ideas, products, etc that a classic man should involve in his life. Husband scrolled through one evening and found an article by which I was intrigued. And so both Husband and I embarked on employing our own routines.

The night we read that article, I also decided the time had arrived for me to start keeping a planner. You know, like a real control freak.

I got this binder for 3.88 at Walmart.

I'd looked for "real" daytimer starters, but those run around $40. That's a lot of money, and we like to be frugal around here. So I grabbed this binder, a package of filler paper in the appropriate size, and took my stuff home to work on personalizing it. My mom, years ago, kept a planner/organizer of sorts, but she hasn't used it in years, so she offered up the remnants of hers for my scavenging. The most fun about this has been making the Amy model. You will not find a planner like this anywhere in the world, and I love it. I can keep personalizing and messing with it and it'll never compromise the goal, because it's all basically original, if a bit odd looking. But hey, I'm odd, so we fit together.

The very first page boasts my need for coffee, and then my zip-loc pouch of stickers, hole re-enforcers, and postage stamps. I'm usually the one that makes out the checks and mails them for our bills, so I'm also the Stamp Guardian.

 

 

This is just one example of the personalizations I made; on each tab divider I have a different quote/meme/whatever that I just happen to like. This is a good reminder to me; I tend to react emotionally, and then pay the penalty for that reaction later. 



 

This is just an example of my weekly planner sheets. For confidentiality's sake I'm showing you a week I haven't done anything on. Normally my weekly stuff contains Husband's school schedule, any appointments, and even Blog Tuesdays that never seem to fall on a Tuesday because I'm a lazy slacker.





 

Yeah, this. Because this is also why Blog Tuesday never happens on a Tuesday. J is a busy boy. Even today is not one of our best days, but this particular entry and its distraction are keeping me sane, and keeping him alive.

 

Again, for confidentiality's sake, I'm showing you a month in the future that doesn't have appointments and such on it. For each month I wrote the name and then some symbol of it. For September, I did a book. October has a pumpkin, November has a cornucopia, and then December, my other favorite month, has this pretty snowflake and a sticker Christmas wreath. Stickers make me happy and I'm not ashamed to confess that I raided G's unused sticker collection for these.

 

We started collecting coins; it's something we can do as a family that will have value for future generations, and is fun to do now. We're doing states and national parks, as well as antique coins when the history is fascinating to us. For instance, Husband and I share a love of Nazi Germany history. Don't ask why; we're quirky. Husband found a deutschmark with Hitler's face on it and we snatched it up for pretty cheap. And now we have Nazi money in our safe. Aren't we fun?

 

This is what I was talking about when I mentioned my free reading journal. Love this thing. It has space for a bunch of things, but since it's a PDF you can print what you want of it. I have the cover and intro pages, and then 4 pages for lists of books I want to read, 2 for abandoned books, 11 for detailed descriptions of books I've read, with ratings and other such info, and then 4 pages of recommended reading, based on award-winning books. I LOVE IT. That cardboard divider on the left has Post-Its superglued on the front, with labels as to what each is to be used, but since it uses our real names I'm not showing that.

 

 

I stole my mom's business card pages, but I'm using the second one for pictures, so I don't have to make my checkbook fat anymore. Plus it lets me display them ALL, instead of just a select few.

 

 

 

And now, my dear friends, I shall detail my morning and evening routines for you. The article Husband and I read talked about how it gave structure and order to the day, that no matter what chaos happens in the middle, you can always count on settling everything down when you stick to your routines. Now, timing is much easier for men to settle if they determine to wake up at the same time every day, and have a schedule by which to organize their day. But mommies to sporadically sleeping 2-month-olds can't stick to timing, because who knows when the crap we'll be up for the day? Once E is older, I might set a wake up time a bit earlier than E or J wakes up, for some Mommy Time in the morning (something I deeply enjoyed before I got pregnant with E), but for now, timing is in the wind.

 

 

Once E is settled (diaper changed, dressed, fed, content to sit for a bit on her own, or possibly even snoozing again), I do my hygiene necessities, such as brushing my teeth, doing my hair, destinking myself with deodorant and body spray. Then I get dressed in workout clothes and put on a few essential oils that will help me start my day with J well (Stress Away and Joy are two of my norms). J's breakfast and drink come next, because he expects those almost as soon as he gets up for the day. When he's done with that, I put E in the Tula, J in the stroller, and we go for a 2 mile walk. As soon as we get home, we go potty, and then I take J and E outside to play for a bit on the swingset. J is an active type and I find that if he is allowed a chance to get some energy out, he is a better behaved boy for the rest of the day, so I let him go monkey, and I put E in the disk swing we have and push her around. Sometimes she falls asleep in that, sometimes she needs to eat again. We stay outside for as close to an hour as I can finagle, depending on J's behavior and E's needs. When we come inside, I change into my clothes for the day, make sure everyone's settled doing something or napping, and do whatever I have on my to-do list. I try to keep a running to-do list because as long as there's something written down with an empty box to check next to it, I have motivation to get it done. Between to-do list items and the kids' needs, I can easily tick the day away. At night, after E's had her bath around 7:35 and been fed, I put her down for bed. J goes to bed around 8:30, after he's cleaned his room starting at 8. Once both kids are down, I shower, brush my teeth and reapply destinkifier. I set out my workout clothes for the next day, and then review my to-do list and schedule for the following day. My goal is to add devotions to that, and then I go to sleep.

 

The day I started employing routines, I found myself feeling more accomplished, and actually being more productive from the get-go. It feels good to get myself into the mindframe of "ok, let's get this and this and this and this done" and then to actually do it. I've been limiting myself to 30 minutes of FB time a day, to cut down on mindless screen time, but I do want to start enforcing Blog Tuesdays again, and even planning out my entries. We'll see how that goes; I've stuck to this daytimer far longer than I've ever done one before. My birthday is in just over 2 months, and I'll be 30; I think this will be my decade. I feel better about myself. I can't wait to drag you along with my better decade. <3

Defying Reality

Social networks, specifically one I won't name (rhymes with shmaceshmook) are sucking my soul out. But, as Husband says, it's an addiction, one I have good reason not to shake off yet. Still, breaks from it are healthy, so today I'm on break. And I'm happy to report, I have not been on Shmaceshmook since I said I was taking a couple-day break. I've been tempted, but I have resisted. HOORAH FOR AMY! In its lieu, I have cleaned up, cared for E (of course) and raided both Sims and Pinterest (I'm not socializing on Pinterest, chill!).

Sims is a longtime interest for me. When I was in high school, I believe, I found Sims 2 and became interested in it, and so bought expansion packs and engaged in living lives I'll never actually get to live. When Sims 3 with its infinitely improved graphics arrived on the scene, I immediately switched, and stocked up on expansion packs again. To this day, that's my game of choice, and I have most of the expansion packs, along with several stuff packs. It's a struggle to resist buying Sims 4, but I've invested a lot of money in Sims 3. I've tried explaining my love of this game to people who love me and don't understand why I love it, so I'll explain it here too.

Sims 3 allows for you to choose your looks. You get to choose if you're going to be skinny or fat, or a witch or fairy or werewolf. You get to choose your hair color and change your style on a whim, no waiting for money or hair to grow. You can travel. You can CHEAT your way to a lot of money. You can stay up all night and work on increasing your skills. You are guaranteed success most of the time. So, suffice it to say: Sims allows me to escape reality for awhile. Reality blows, admit it. And so I sit and drown myself in the world of Sims that speak Simlish and spend Simoleans, etc. Sounds enjoyable, huh?